Duhmerican’t Expats Miserable in Bangkok

20/08/2009 § Leave a comment


There is a certain brand of Duhmerican’t Expat living in Bangkok who despite having chosen to live here insists on being miserable.  Rather than relax and enjoy being well away from that disgusting shithole of a country they come from they insist on not merely bringing their Pepsi-Coke bullshit with them but further insist on dragging Thais and other expats into their Duhmerican’t cesspool of failed ideas.

One expat website supposedly devoted to Bangkok ‘absolutely’ has several recent articles in this vein. One a Big Mac economic comparison. The author puts forth ad nauseum about how long one must labor to purchase a Big Mac in Thailand. All well and good except that the author ignores the fact that only Duhmerican’ts would truly be interested in the relative costs of a Big Mac. Yet one more clue that Duhmerican’ts are generally clueless. Why would one who lives in Thailand where the best food on the planet originates choose to pollute oneself with such non-food trash?

The author then holds forth about the comparative cost of groceries in Bangkok versus other countries. One supposes that if a Duhmerican’t insists on shopping in the most expensive western style grocery stores that might be true. Were the Duhmerican’t to buy from the market adjacent to the many Thai Temples that are everywhere he would likely see the folly of his way. Ah, the Duhmerican’t has been trained from birth to support unearned corporate profits and seek Frankenfood at every opportunity hasn’t he. Rather enjoy local Thai products the Duhmericant will gleefully pay $9USD for an imported can of Del Monte cling peaches! Image is EVERYTHING though isn’t it?

Next is a discussion of whether rents in Bangkok are cheap or not. ‘The area I live in Bangkok requires a quite bigger budget than cities that are listed as much more expensive.’ Well Duh! If one chooses to live in the middle of the tourist/expat/Duhmerican’t slum its quite easy to get taken down very hard to get a smaller though more well appointed apartment than one would back in Duhmerica. Then again, if one can’t brag about their apartment being in a certain building or on a certain street then life gets so much more miserable very rapidly. Image is EVERYTHING though isn’t it?

A discussion about the cost of an automobile in Thailand then ensues. Owning a car in Bangkok is really quite foolish. Taxis are everywhere, available around the clock and cheap. Traffic is a challenge to say the least and the rules are much more flexible than most Duhmerican’ts can deal with. Fuel costs and parking fees are easily three times more expensive than taking a taxi. Duhmerican’ts have been trained from birth that their worth is judged by the cost of the automobile they pay some Bankster through the nose for. Image is EVERYTHING though isn’t it?

The diatribe then addresses the abject awfulness of Thailand’s many and varied public holidays. The absolute nerve of a people to presume to work to live rather than live to work! How dare they enjoy their lives!

An enumeration of the relative merits of political, er, diplomatic posting to Bangkok and alleged ‘special allowances’ then ensues. In Duhmerican’t foreign services circles Bangkok is considered a ‘hardship’ posting. Leave it to Duhmerican’ts to consider paradise a hardship. Likely this designation reflects the make up of not only Duhmerican’ts in general but its foreign service in particular. The Duhmerican’t foreign service is loaded very heavily with zealots of the Christian persuasion. The temptations are just too big for them here. Yet another glaring example of failed Duhmerican’t ‘values’!

In the next article the Duhmerican’t explains to us why Thailand, in his opinion, is so deficient. He quotes the Thai Rice Foundation’s Chairman: ‘Many Thais are basically subject to superficial concerns – the visual decoration – but cannot further explain what they are doing…’. and ‘more than half of Thailand’s IT utilisation is inferior, and that the society as a whole suffers from a lack of foundation’. Well, alrighty then! What more justification does a Duhmerican’t need for feeling oh so much superior to Thai people! That Duhmerican’ts ‘are basically subject to superficial concerns’ totally escapes the Duhmerican’t mind! Speaking of IT utilisation, how about those Duhmerican’ts? That 3G is poorly implemented if at all for most of the country is laughable. That the supposed ‘greatest country in the world’ is surpassed by the rest of the developed world and many of the so-called ‘emerging’ nations in the areas of internet and mobile communications is something to be proud of isn’t it! Speaking of something to be proud of: not only do Duhmerican’ts get poorer service they pay through the nose for it! Way to go Duhmerica!

In the next article the Duhmerican’t holds forth on the ‘The crème de la crème of Thailand’s mainly foreign writers guild’ and its attendance of the FCCT’s most recent meeting. One wonders whether he considers himself part of ‘The crème de la crème of Thailand’s mainly foreign writers guild’? A look at their ‘guild’ web page features him prominently, or perhaps in his case prominently features him would be more kind. Image is EVERYTHING though isn’t it? A description of the latest revision of a book about former Prime Minister Thaksin and quotes from it are included. Interesting are the words of the articles author: ‘they are by no means Thaksin lovers’. Is one to infer that is a bad thing?

In most of Duhmerica one can easily and often hear ‘If you don’t like it here why don’t you go back to wherever you came from’!’ Amazing how Duhmerican’ts can’t seem to remember that part of Duhmerica when they’re here.


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